so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
