Got a toothbrush?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
