Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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