I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
