haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We are all done wearing pants today
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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