then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
