I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
