Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
