Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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