i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
