Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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