whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
