Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dick very happy bro
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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