'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
