Fuck appropriateness.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
