I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
