Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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