I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
