I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
did i just pee glitter
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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