he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
