I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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