You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
