someone get that fucking seahorse.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
