Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Even my vagina gasped.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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