My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
