do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
