Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
