Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
