He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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