I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
