It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
