Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
