I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
