My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
