it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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