i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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