I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
