After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
