i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
