Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize