Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
