No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
