I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
