Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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