Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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