I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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