He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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