As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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