So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
