Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Small penises have feelings too.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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