Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
